Do you see the way that tree bends? Does it inspire? - Pearl Jam 'Present Tense'
Incessant heat is a defining characteristic of Aruba, a Dutch Caribbean island just off the coast of Panama, near the equator. It’s a desert island, meaning it hardly ever rains and it’s outside the hurricane belt, so there is seemingly constant sunshine all year round. Almost as constant as the sun are the stiff trade winds that blow across the island making the heat bearable to the thousands of tourists who flock to the island.
I often hear people say they don’t like Aruba because it’s too windy. Where some see the wind as a nuisance, others realize it’s the wind that makes it so pleasant. As long as you keep your stuff tied down so it doesn’t blow away, the trade winds are a much needed natural air conditioner for an island that is as beautiful as it is friendly.
For years, I would visit the island and fear the wind as much as I welcomed it. As my FSHD advanced, the wind could knock me off balance and send me to the ground. I had to navigate this force of nature that was such a blessing and a curse. I needed to find balance between my love for the island and fear of the wind. There was a lesson to be applied here. My teacher became the divi divi tree.
The divi divi tree is a symbol of the island. It’s an ancient, sturdy tree that has thrived in Aruba, despite the wind that could easily uproot more rigid trees. It doesn’t sway like a palm tree or bend and snap back. It grows with the wind, shaped by it. When you look at a divi divi tree, you can practically see the years of trade winds that have formed its shape.
The first time a tried using a mobility device was in Aruba, on vacation with my family. We’d been coming to the island for years, but I was behaving like an oak tree, trying to be tall, proud and unyielding, defiant against the force of the wind.
So my wife, Laura, encouraged me to rent a mobility scooter while we were on vacation and give it a try. As I’ve discussed many times, this was not an easy decision. Rational or not, it’s not the way I wanted to present myself to the world. I felt like everyone’s eyes were on me. But what changed was where my eyes were looking.
I’m someone who loves the view. I notice things when I’m driving, I enjoy looking out the window of my hotel room, or airplane. I always take time to enjoy the view.
But as my walking became more and more tenuous, I realized my eyes were always looking down, laser focused on where each step was landing, careful not to fall, bracing against the wind.
But now, riding the scooter, my eyes were looking up. I could enjoy all there was to see, from the palm trees swaying in the wind against the stunning blue sky, or the stars in the night sky as I cruised along the stone path along the beach, not worried about a misstep that could send me sprawling to the ground.
Being on wheels was not the end for me, but a new beginning. As I always say, I don’t let my disease define me, but how I deal with it is part of who I am.
I respect the power of the wind on that island I love, just as I respect the power my disease has over me. I see how it can be a nuisance, but a blessing as well. Like the divi divi tree I have learned to bend with the wind, and grow with it.
